RESOLUTION & HARMONY
• Do you think that if a child is taught only physical self-defense that he or she has the skills to avoid and resolve conflict before it becomes a physical confrontation?
• Do you think that young people have the sophisticated skills and presence of mind to understand and avoid conflict and the ability to use clever verbal skills as a means of self-protection to resolve conflict peacefully if they practice defending themselves only physically?
• Do you think that physical self-defense is only a part of the martial art big picture?
The A.R.M. Approach™—FOR OLDER STUDENTS, Ages 9-12
One way you can give your students complete physical, mental and spiritual preparation is by teaching them three lines of self-defense. Once they understand all three, they then understand that they must use their minds—the most powerful weapon they have—to determine which line of defense they will need to call upon in their particular situation.
In order to teach your students these lines of defense, you must understand them yourself. They aren't difficult at all! In a nutshell, when we recognize that a fight is about to begin—we can try to avoid that fight, try to resolve that fight if we can't avoid it, or we can try to manage that fight if we can't avoid or resolve it!
Here's the breakdown:
AVOID—We avoid conflict by understanding and being aware of it. When we recognize that a fight, or conflict, is brewing, and we can SEE it about to start—we can attempt to do something to prevent it.
RESOLVE—When a conflict has already begun—we have not been able to prevent or AVOID it—we can attempt to stop it in its tracks by using nonviolent verbal skills.
MANAGE—When we cannot AVOID a conflict, and we cannot do anything to RESOLVE it, this is the time we may call upon our physical skills to humanely stop it.
When we A.R.M.™ our students with these choices, they have the full set of self-defense skills, both mental and physical, to help them cope with conflict intelligently and effectively. We want our children to be safe, and the intelligent way to ensure that safety is to teach them to protect themselves in ways that are nonthreatening and nonphysical—leaving physical means as a last resort.
The tournament and sports aspect of the martial arts is fun!
Still, we also need to see—and to let our students know—
that these arts were developed primarily
to educate and protect people from harm,
and to find peaceful ways to relate to one another.
The "3P" Approach™—FOR YOUNG STUDENTS, Ages 4-8
Another way to teach your students this big picture is to use the "3Ps."
PREVENT—We prevent a fight from happening by avoiding it. We see it coming and we find a way to stop it before it starts.
PREPARE—We use our brain instead of our fists to resolve this fight. We call upon our verbal skills (which we will learn).
PROTECT—We protect ourselves by learning self-defense physical skills. Knowing them gives us the confidence to not use them—not use them unless we must, as a last resort.
Learning these arts in this manner can help us cope
not only with the schoolyard bully, but also with bullying that occurs
domestically, socially and internationally.
TWELVE WAYS TO WALK AWAY WITH CONFIDENCE™
Ask yourself:
• Do I think that the development of physical self-defense skills is only one part of learning the martial arts?
• Does it make sense that the first two lines of self-defense are necessary to avoid/prevent a fight, or to resolve a fight that's already started?
Twelve Bully Buster™ Basic Tools
As is true when learning anything new, using these three lines of self-defense takes practice. We need tools to help us understand how to use them effectively. To use these tools, we need to understand:
• Power is not based on physical strength or the ability to dominate other people.
• Power is not the ability to win or know more than other people.
• A powerful person in one who knows defeat.
• A powerful person is one who wants to learn.
• A powerful person is one who can understand him- or herself and has the desire to understand others.
TWELVE BULLY BUSTER™ WAYS TO WALK AWAY WITH CONFIDENCE
1. Make friends
Treat the bully as a friend instead of an enemy
2. Use humor
You can turn a threatening situation into a funny one
3. Walk away
Don't get into it—just walk away
4. Use cleverness
Use your creative imagination to resolve conflict
5. Agree with the bully
Let insults go—without fighting back
6. Refuse to fight
The winner of a fight is the one who avoids it
7. Stand up to a bully
Stick up for yourself. Just say NO! to bullying
8. Scream / Yell
A powerful shout can end conflict before it starts
9. Ignore the threat
Be like bamboo—bend in the wind
10. Use authority
Call a proper authority to help you "defeat the bully"
11. Reason with bully
Use the most powerful tool you have—your brain
12. Martial Arts stance
Be a victor—not a victim!
